Candy Crazy

I haven't worked on my Squidoo lenses in some time but I am happy to say I'm sprucing them all up and they are now open for business.  In my previous post, I highlighted my new beautiful fabric lens.  Now I'd like to highlight my candy lens.  You know me, it's a toss up- do I blog about candy or crafting?  Tonight, the candy wins.  Check out my lens here:

http://www.squidoo.com/candycrazy

Crafting with Gorgeous Fabrics

I asked for some advice on Facebook about which online fabric stores I should search for beautiful orange fabrics recently (yeah, okay and some green- if you're a Fiskateer you get it).  I am in full-swing excitement as I help my co-Lead Fiskateers gear up for the Craft and Hobby Association show in Anaheim, California this January.  We have a ton of plans and some of those plans involve beautiful orange fabric.  I got some really great answer so I though I would share these links and ask you if you have any more fabric suggestions and then I got REALLY fancy and made a new Squidoo Lens with all the information and data I collected.  Stop in and check it out.  It's interactive so you can help me jazz it up a little:

http://www.squidoo.com/beautifulfabric

So gorgeous!  At the moment, I think I'm favoring Alewives and I always love Warm Biscuit but I'm open to more suggestions! Oh and superbuzzy is adorable too- you know how I love all things Japanesey!  Thanks to Peg Graham and Kate Blue for great site ideas.

How to be Witty

 My biggest fantasy is to try stand-up comedy someday.  Just once.  To do that, I'd have to get over my fear of doctors because I would definitely need a prescription of SOMETHING to get up the nerve (although, now that I think of it, Jagermeister is over-the-counter).  In the meantime, I realize that all these years of winging it and trying to be naturally funny and witty has been wasted.  I could have just Googled it and spent that extra time reading trashy vampire novels. 

http://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Witty-Conversation

Altered Couture

I have a project in the Nov/Dec/Jan issue of Altered Couture now out on newstands.  Or more accurately, on the shelves of Barnes and Nobel and other crafty magazine places.  There are some cute projects in this magazine and I'm so excited to be featured along with them.  You can see some of the content of this issue here:  http://www.stampington.com/html/altered_couture_winter10.html

Wow.  A blog post where I don't rant, say something sarcastic about a TV show or talk about candy.  Maybe I'm finally getting mature.

Nah.

King of the Crown (wanted)

Don't pretend you're not watching this show.  I know "King of the Crown" is no "Toddlers and Tiaras."  Still, I think if you're willing to look past the fact that this guy Cyrus really seems to care about his girls and the fact that, sadly, by "girls" I mean young women who no longer need flippers and (too much) fake hair and ones who are actually old enough to probably know that they want to be in pageants, then you might like this show. It also helps if you can look past all this and give up a tiny bit of the smug satisfaction that comes from watching T & T and feeling like the best parent on Earth by comparison.

The reason I'm bringing this up is that I have had an epiphany watching this show.  I have realized that watching the episode where Cyrus helps a member of his staff, Miss South Carolina 2004 (a.ka. Amanda), get back into pageants was worth a 100 therapy sessions.  That's what I need.  A friend who loves me so much that he cries at my acomplishments.  Someone who treats my small goals the same way a made-for-TV-movie dad treats the goals of his small, motherless, made-for-TV movie child.  Don't get me wrong, I have great friends but not to this degree. 

So that's it.  If I have to squeeze into a star-spangled evening gown, tape my boobs and tease my hair so high I'll qualify for the WNBA, I'll do it. I just need someone to heed this call:  Suburban housewife seeks fabulous gay friend for non-reciprocal emotional attachment.

Applications now being accepted.

J. Crew Rant

I think of things to rant about daily and I hate to dwell on those topics on my blog lest you get the idea that I am not a well of sunshine and optimism but let's say just a few words about J.Crew, shall we?  First, let me get the sour grapes disclaimer out of the way.  I love their stuff.  Really I do.  It's just the right mix of trendy but classy for a suburban housewife like me.  However, I am not in the economic bracket that can buy a very thin, probably not gonna make it through the wash with my jeans $80 tshirt.  I wish I were. 

So here's my rant.  It's not even that the tshirts are $80.  It's that at my local J.Crew the salespeople are so unfriendly.  I walk in, feel under dressed and then slink back to the sales rack.  Maybe the recognize me as the clearance shopper but they seem to just have a 7th sense that I'm not going to buy full retail immediately.  The only time I think that attitude is even somewhat logical is at places where there is a commision.  There's no commision at J. Crew is there?

And one last thing, J. Crew.  If I stood like this model is standing in this ad photo, my mother would have shrieked at me to stand up straight.  I'm just saying.  All this doesn't ruin my chances of being one of your catalog models does it?  Call me!

Well, there's an app for that

You know what I think is really keeping me from blogging as much as I usually do?  A few months ago, I noticed that Squarespace (which is the blog hosting service I'm using here) had something on their home page about developing an app to blog from.  WHOA.  In my best Liz Lemon voice- I want to go to there.  I've been waiting for it.  I mean, think about it. I could blog FROM Joanns to share about the nice but social awkward cutting table guy who was so slow, I had to leave and come back later to pick up my fabric.  I could blog from my weekly coffee talk dates with my girlfriends and warn you not to fall for that fancy named drink that is really too-strong earl grey tea with milk in it.  I could blog from Walmart when I'm there at 5 am and do a PSA about how much stranger everyone is at Walmart outside of standard business hours (never mind that I'm there too).  Basically, I could blog from Zoila (my trusty iPhone) about all the bizarre and random thoughts that cross my mind all day long when I'm away from my computer. 

Lucky you.

Oh the shoes!

I have spent hours already this month- shopping for Halloween stuff, thinking about Halloween, inviting people to our annual Halloween open house.  I even spent hours shopping for the perfect black dress today so I could become a fashion-forward witch this year (and if you follow me on Facebook you might also know that I got STUCK in one of these dresses today and almost panicked and ripped myself out of it rather than call out to one of the store employees.  Luckily I *barely* squeezed out of it).  So anyway, I found a great dress but the black shoes I was thinking of wearing are too loose to walk around in all night so it was off to Google "witch shoes."   Ooooooooooooo.  I know these aren't very "witchy" but I SO want these candy corn shoes sooo bad.  How ridiculous can I possibly be?  And the queen of heart ones.  LOVE.  You can check out the other fabulous shoes here.  Anyone got a hook up?: 

http://www.costumeexpress.com

Piggly Wiggly

I have this theory when I travel that you can tell a lot about a place by the most basic items in their local grocery stores.  I've been in small neighborhood grocery stores in Paris, Germany, Mexico, Canada and I also seek them out in the United States when I can find small independently owned ones (if you read my blog, you know I love to find groceries in Japan town, etc.).  I even make my friends take me to Wawas when I'm back east.  Wawa is not too unique content-wise (although I love the Hostess v. Tasty Cake divide that happens between the east and west coast) but I love the name and you can't find a Wawa out where I live.  So what has been my holy grail of all unique groceries?  Piggly Wiggly, naturally.

If you've read any books (or seen movies) about the South.  Piggly Wiggly was probably in there somewhere.  Every angst-filled Southern teen grabbed at least one soda from the PW at some point in some story you've read.  So imagine my delight when some of my Fiskateer friends (and by friends, I mean that crafters who I had never met but took time out of their day to drive out and meet me because we share that crazy bond that people who love their hobbies share) in Tennessee went out of their way to find a Piggly Wiggly to take me to.  To quote Project Zoe for the millionth time:  It was bananas.  The logo?  I die.

If you haven't traveled with me, you think I'm exaggerating.  Piggly Wiggly IS "just" a small grocery store.  There were probably, maybe, 4 registers with only one lane open.  But the thing is, I LOVED the signs out front*, I loved the crazy logo that apparently was not so subtly stolen from Warner Bros. Porky Pig drawings.  Most of all, I loved the Piggly Wiggly branded food.  Who would guess such a small store would have their own spaghetti?  And lastly, but not leastly, I loved the dentally challenged (cashier? stock boy?  manager?) who literally offered me the Piggly Wiggly shirt right off his back when he found out that I was elated to be in a Piggly Wiggly all the way from Reno, Nevada.  And I equally loved the cashier ringing me out who leaned over and, in that great Tennesee accent, made it clear, in a low voice, that I really and truly needed to re-think taking her co-worker's shirt.  On second glance at the generous man, I truly appreciated the cashier's wisdom and foresight.  And P.S.  I made Piggly Wiggly brand spaghetti and sauce last night and you know what, it was inexpensive and pretty darned good- even subtracting the fun factor of my kids chanting about eating Piggly Wiggly Pasta during the whole meal.  Thanks PW & thanks Ziggyeor, Bettye & Pinky for trusting me when I told you that I would enjoy Piggly Wiggly more than any other Nashville landmark you could take me to.

*and here, guilt dictates that I point out that I'm not making fun of food stamps here- my own family had their own food stamp moments in the early 70's.  But am I laughing about advertising it on a huge sign with a faux Porky?  Maybe.

Seeking Part-time Employee (Ghost Writer)

This is a ghost writer position.  Posted position requires applicant to write occasional blog posts here at www.angeladaniels.squarespace.com when blog author is overwhelmed with other chores and responsibilities (i.e. catching up on bad reality TV, eating candy, crafting, etc.).  Candidates must
be witty, smart and good at self-editing.   Candidates must be comfortable blogging in the voice of the current blog owner and will be asked to sign a confidentiality agreement to never reveal themselves as the writer of this blog.  Topics to be considered:  Bad reality TV (Toddlers and Tiaras fans will be given special dispensation), candy reviews, craft-related bargains, etc.  Salary negotiable but will include up to 1 free pair of Fiskars scissors (out of the packaging but only gently used), bits of ribbon and the opportunity to babysit 2 amazing children.  For free.

Applications now being accepted.