I was a contestant on TLC's

Craft Wars, August 2012

 

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    « Craft Wars Vets Pop Craft Challenge- Episode #3 (Coco the Chicken's Toy Box) | Main | Craft Wars Vets Pop Craft: Episode #2 Challenge »
    Wednesday
    Jul112012

    Craft Wars Recap Episode #3

    I love, love reality TV recap sites. I read them like my parents used to read the Los Angeles Times- over breakfast, shaking my head at the absurdity of it all. I was thinking maybe I should start recapping Craft Wars. I would be witty and informative and scores of readers would flock to my blog each week. But I'm too lazy. You probably watched the show anyway and I already admitted that I'm going to go easy on the contestants every week because I believe in karma. Instead, I thought I'd do a little recap of just 3 moments I thought were interesting. Short and sweet.

    And if you have not been blessed by the Cable Fairy, you can always download the shows on iTunes:

    http://itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/craft-wars-season-1/id534655601

    Also, if you're not logging on to Twitter every Tuesday at 7 pm PST, you're missing a Craft Wars party. We are all watching the show together and contributing commentary using the hash tag #CraftWars. Those of us who are past or future contestants of the show are adding in an additional tag of #CraftWarsVets so you'll be alerted to our bias. You can go to Twitter and search our hash tags from last night to get up to date on that. We think we're pretty funny, by the way.

    Random moment #1: Chicken Confusion

    At one point, it's all a blur now, Tori Spelling was handed her pet... chicken?! Yes. A CHICKEN. What? I looked up at the screen and Tori was holding a giant dandelion puff of a thing in her arms. It took me a few more scenes to realize that the pink thing on the chicken's head was a) on the head of the animal and b) not a white puffy dog sucking a pacifier. I think it was a bow. Anyway. If you thought it was eccentric to see someone holding a chicken, it's not the only time. Google "Tori Spelling and Coco the chicken."

    The writer's SO missed the obvious line Tori should have delivered at the end of this episode to Pamela, the winning contestant: "Winner, winner- chicken dinner!"

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Random moment #2: Dead foxes

    One of my favorite things about Craft Wars is seeing what these creative people chose to wear on camera. Pattye and I literally spent HOURS on the phone, texting photos, sharing website links to figure out what we would wear. We wanted to coordinate and we wanted to look cute but we also figured we'd have to wear something we could run in and something that we could spend a full day of filming crafting in. Plus we had to abide by standard on-camera guidelines (no small prints, no stripes, no black, no white, etc.). At the time, it seemed the most impossible task of the whole show. I couldn't wear vintage prom and I couldn't wear prints? I actually had to go and buy a new shirt!

    In last night episode, the stand-out adorable outfit was worn by contestant Amy. I found a photo of her wearing an equally adorable outfit (see left) and, more importantly, she's wearing the dead fox stole she was wearing on last night's episode. Turns out I guessed correctly and Amy had made this cute accessory. You can check out her collection in detail (and buy one) at her website: http://mrdeadfish.wordpress.com/. Just a word of warning- Amy's site is amazeballs. Set aside a awhile to explore.

     

     

     

     

    Random Moment #3: Glittered Dog Bones- crafting endangers the safety of our beloved pets!

    This was a big buzz on Twitter last night. Some couldn't believe the judges would award Pamela the win because part of her design was dozens of real Milk Bones covered in glitter. "A dog would DIE if they ate those!" people exclaimed (through their keyboards). I have to comment on this. I grew up with dogs and I currently have 2. I am admittedly a terrible dog trainer. My dogs jump all over me and our family and our jack russel-mix has staked claim to whole sections of the couch with no regard to our human wishes. So maybe it's just me and the dogs that have been integral parts of our family but not ONE of my dogs, past or present, would be interested in glittered Milk Bones. They're too spoiled. I swear to you that we can hold up a healthy dog treat to either one of our dogs and they look at us like we are joking. They hold out for the good stuff. And even if they DID get tempted by a glittered Milk Bone, I have no doubt that they'd be none the worse for wear.

    We once had a family beagle-mix eat 2 1/2 - 2lb boxes of Sees candy over the course of 3 days (long story but it involves a beagle's obsession with food and UPS packages addressed to an out-of-state relative left on a very high counter. Twice.).  CHOCOLATE. The alleged killer of dogs. Our beagle didn't call in sick for a single day after that. If anything, he had clearly just spent the best 3 days of his life. And then there was the family terrier who harbored a pathological hatred toward helium balloons. That dog couldn't be held back from terrorizing any balloon within reach, popping it and gobbling it whole. All our screaming and trying to hold him back be damned. That dog probably ate a small army's worth of balloons in his lifetime. And was very smug about it too.

    So maybe I have had the amazing fortune to be surrounded by the most steel-stomached dogs ever to have walked the earth but I'm guessing most dogs are pretty hardy and would survive a little glitter. I do know this, not one single dog I've been acquainted with, not one, would lower themselves to actually using a dog house. Ever. No matter how cute.

    Fun episode. And if you want to keep score at home, my kids were totally split on this one. Wednesday, as I like to call her, was all for the glitter bomb doggie house that brought Pamela the 10k. Parksley was a fan of the 2 story cat and dog house ("Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria! ..." -Ghostbusters). And Wednesday's final assessment? "I could have done a WAY better dog house." Clearly she didn't read the thoughts I posted about this attitude earlier this week. I know what bedtime story she's getting tonight...

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    Reader Comments (3)

    My 2 big dogs would definitely eat the dog biscuits.This could be a big plus-it would certainly brighten up my back yard And you could do clean up duty in the dark.They'd probably eat the dog leash mat and wreak havoc on the table.I'm with Parker on this one.
    I want you to make a crafty one of thesehttp://birdingdepot.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=283 Our squirrels wore ours out and I think we need a spiffy crafty one!

    July 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNanaBeth

    So, I go and check out Amy's site...what do I find? No wonder you were all "amazeballed"...flavor infused vodka! She has you as an eternal follower now!

    July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkellystar

    my comments part 2: I did wonder about the glitter bones, my dogs would go for it. Considering that he ate the twine net that goes around a frozen turkey (he pulled it from the garbage) and has eaten 2 sticks of butter off the counter (by the way, no ill effects any of these 3 times)...and I had another dog that once ate a whole mug of chocolate kisses (and he sucked out the chocolate and left the little foil wrappers BTW) and another dog used to eat crayons and Polly Pocket clothes that the kids left on the floor ...a little glitter might spruce up the doo doo---I've been missing the colors

    July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkellystar

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