What could possibly be more wholesome than crafting. Am I right? WRONG. Last night's episode of Craft Wars was laced with sexual innuendo. Really. And before you accuse me of having a dirty mind (guilty), I'm not the only one who thought so. Twitter was filled with Craft War fans snickering over the many references to balls and magic in the bedroom.
Tori Spelling's didn't seem to pick up on the innuendo... or DID she? I've watched her reality show. I KNOW her husband was laughing at this:
Anyway, on to my favorite 3 moments of the show but first, let's meet our contestants:
Andrea. OMG. ANOTHER hand crafted shirt that a contestant convinced a friend to wear as twinsies. This one has a beauty pageant sash appeal but it's only sewn on the front. I can't believe how little influence I had over my assistant Pattye in the clothing department. With the craft gods as my witnesses, if we get invited back to Craft Wars in one of those re-match kind of shows(you know- the winners v. winners, the redemption episodes and the no-one-wanted-to-come-back-and-humilate-themselves-again-but-these-3 kinda shows- they do those for Cupcake Wars all the time) , Pattye WILL bend to my will and be my twinsie. Disparities in our height, weight, coloring and fashion sense be damned. Andrea and Krafty Kathy, I bow to you and your superior charisma.
Raymond was representing the male crafting contingency. But really, he clearly was an artist. I know that a lot of crafters consider themselves artists but, to my mind, these are two different things. Artists can be crafters, crafters can be artists- sure. But Raymond struck me as more artist than crafter. Also of note- he was of the Asian persuasion. This was important to many (re: 1 or 2) people on Twitter for some reason that I don't really understand but there you go.
P.S. I think Raymond was also regretting that he couldn't get his girlfriend on board with a more crafty tshirt. I feel ya, Ray!
And last but not least, Brooke from St. George, Utah. Wait a second- isn't that exactly where Mandi from a few episodes ago was from? What's in the water in St. George and, more importantly, they both blog on similar topics. Do they know each other? Why weren't they on together? Is there a juicy rivalry in St. George between these two? Where's Bravo Andy when I need him? Or was Mandi from somewhere else? Anyone? I need to know!
TOP THREE CRAFT WARS MOMENTS:
#1 Brooke Goes Home
You just KNOW this was her episode to win. She does home decor and, let's face it, this was a home decor challenge more than a crafting challenge. Her lamp was sooooo close to being pretty fabulous but she way underestimated her time. I am always bummed when a good contestant goes home and we can't see what they could have done with more time.
#2 Tori Spelling's Dress
I am assuming that she has been wearing vintage dresses on every show so far. I love vintage but I don't think all her outfits have hit it out of the park. Last night's dress was the best one so far. Some of the others were too "That 70's show" for me. You're welcome, Tori.
#3 Smoke and Mirrors in the Bedroom
I wasn't really wowed by either room. I mean, there were clever ideas here and there (loved that zipper vase) but all in all, I wouldn't want either room for my own. But the theme of "smoke and mirrors" made me laugh and again- sexual innuendos abounded. For that, Craft Wars, I thank you.
Bonus moment: contestant accents:
I'm telling you, this show a dream come true for any linguists out there who craft. Andrea spent the whole show driving everyone on Twitter crazy by saying "FLOW-ers" as opposed to "fl-OW-ers." I love different accents, no matter what they are so I was delighted. I think I might start saying "flow-ers" and "buh-uns" from now on. Here are my favorite tweets from last night regarding this Craft Wars phenomenon:
Don't apologize! Let the haters hate. I think your accent is fun!