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Secret Candy Stashes
Thursday, June 11, 2009 at 08:27PM 
When I was a kid, one time I came home from school and my mom had dumped out every drawer in my room onto the middle of the floor- prison shake-down style. The contraband? Candy wrappers. Hundreds of them. At my house, candy was verboten in a big way (the armchair psychologist in me swears this is why I'm obsessed with candy to this day but it's hard to know which came first, the chicken or the Cadbury cream-filled egg). I was mucho busted. I vowed to run away some day and live a life of Jolly Ranchers and Skittles with no one to tell me that my teeth would rot and my health would suffer- HA! That would teach them.
Today, I live in a very happy relationship with candy. I buy it when I want it (still with a residual pang of guilt that my Catholic friends are familiar with for different reasons) but here's the deal: I reproduced. My oldest got the candy gene (partially blowing my theory of my candy obsession's origin). I try and be cool about it. I let him eat it. I try not to make a big deal out of it. But to watch this obsession in another human is disturbing. If there is a bag of candy on the loose, neither one of us can concentrate on our daily lives until we've consumed the entire thing. ALL of it. I think my son summed up our feelings best at the grocery store the other day when he explained to my husband, "I don't like Tropical Skittles. They're gross. I'd still eat them if we bought them but I don't like them." From the mouths of babes. (and yes, this is a layout I made of him- I found him like this one morning- he had found one of my stashes and had crammed gobs of candy in his mouth but tried to tell me he had "nuh-sing.").
And this brings me to my candy stashes. They are all over the house, hiding from my son, mostly. I probably rival any drug addict trying to live a secret life within a suburban family. I was going to take pictures of my stash because I know it would make some of you have a nice laugh at my expense but I seriously worried that seeing me take photos in various drawers, under the bed, behind the flour, etc. would draw attention to my stash. I just couldn't let my son in on that. Poor thing wouldn't be able to sleep well after that... so I'll just ask you to sit back and imagine what it must be like for unsuspecting guests at my home to retire to the guest bedroom and reach under their pillows and find a snack size Skittles pack. Maybe they think that's our version of hotel mints on a pillow...
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Reader Comments (8)
I'm soooo glad to hear ANOTHER adult has a candy obsession as bad as mine! Right now I'm choppin' on a mini jawbreaker. I have a stash here in my scraproom and at work. Yum! And as I'm writing there's a commercial on for Strawberry Peanut Butter M&M's - humm, have you tried those yet? Since they're new I'll HAVE to try them out, but they really don't sound appetizing. I'll let you know.
Lol! We had company one time & I opened up a cupboard & said, "If you get a sweet tooth, here's the candy stash". His eyes got real big, there was a shocked look on his face, & he said, "That's all candy"?!! Then he burst out laughing. Oh, by the way, I did catch him raiding the candy stash later. ;)
What a wonderfully written blog post.
May your stashes rest in peace...until you eat them of course.
Tona- see? If you did that to me, I wouldn't be able to think of anything else. This reminds me of when I was about 10 and someone we were visiting opened a cabinet and I saw a big bag of gummy bears. I am ashamed to admit I made sure my tiny little brother noticed too. It worked- he wailed for them and the woman we were visiting insisted on letting us have them. Success!
And Greta- Noooo. Not a chocolate fan. But, like my son, if there were yucky-sounding stawberry m&ms in front of me, I'd probably try them. I did kind of like the raspberry ones but not enough to seek them out.
I so have my stashes and my DH knows they are mind not his it is not a very big stash as I am not suppose to have a lot of sugar any more but I still have a small stash that I enjoy now and then when I feel like I have been good enough. . . oh and my Niece has it too. .. she walked two miles yesterday with her month old daughter to get a pack of skittles.
oh my so you have a candy stash too??? I so love watermelon jolly rannchers!!! oh and skittles.. and cadbury eggs and more!
tfs!
Hi Angela,
I love candy too, though it's more on the chocolate side. I have to hide the chocolate from DH (as well as other things too) Funny thing one day I told him to get my slippers from the closet...I was thinking the entrance closet and, but apparently I failed to say entrance closet so he went looking in the bedroom closet. (my side), and what did he find...the spitz that I had hidden from him! He loves them so I hide them so he doesn't eat them all at once. What candy is to you Spitz (sunflower seeds) are to him.Needless to say I won't be hiding stuff on my side at the back of the closet anytime soon unless maybe 10 years from now when he's forgotten about my hiding place.
As for myself, I have a drawer at my desk that is supposed to be for supplies, but has been dedicated for candy. Cinnamon hearts don't last long when they're in there neither will anything else.
And for a little fun side note...my mom always had this little poem that you could sing to the tune of "are you sleeping" that my baby brother learned and recited every time someone talked about candy...
"Too much Candy, Too much candy
Not enough milk, Not enough milk
All my teeth are rotting, all my teeth are rotting
zzz zzz"
That last part is the sound of the dentist drill and it was always so hilarious to hear. Anyway, hope I haven't bored you with my little stories.
That is too funny, for me I have to hav my Hubby hide my stash cause if I know where it is then there would be no stash LOL.